So far, so good.

I had my first outpatient Remicade infusion today. It was actually my second dose, since I had one two weeks ago during my hospital stay. It seemed to go well. Before the Remicade, I got a big ol' IV dose of hydrocortisone, which is apparently supposed to lessen the side effects or adverse reactions of Remicade or something. This is in addition to the 50mg/day of Prednisone I'm already taking this week, so I'm a little wired today. We'll see if I have any funky side effects in the next few days from the Remicade. In the hospital I had night sweats for three nights after the meds, and a nurse looked it up and said that was a side effect of Remicade. I won't have the luxury of a call button here at home for someone to come in at 4am and change our soaking bedsheets, so hopefully sleeping on a bath towel will do the trick. Ah, my life is so glamorous.

I didn't really know what to expect from the infusion center (at Riverside Health Center). It's a smoothly-run operation, but relatively laid-back. It's basically an L-shaped room with a row of recliners and a few hospital beds, each one set up with an IV pump and some other equipment, plus a big nurses' station. The nurses were very friendly and patient and calm and everyone, even the chemo patients, seemed in okay spirits, considering. Most of the other patients were on a first-name basis with the nurses and some had apparently been there several times over the last week or two. A few had surgically implanted infusion ports because they have such frequent treatments, one was completely bald from her chemo, and others were just stopping in for a treatment before a long day of bone-density scans or other diagnostic procedures. It really put things in perspective for me. I may be in some discomfort, but I'm not battling for my life right now. I am so so so so so lucky.

Because of the timing of my appointment, I had to miss a big company luncheon at work. While I'm not usually big on corporate events, I do enjoy a good free, catered meal, and I was a little bummed to miss it. Two things happened to brighten my day a bit. First, an unexpected 'perk' of a mid-day infusion appointment is that they serve you a boxed lunch. While it was still hospital food, it was totally within the limits of my current dietary restrictions, which was comforting. Second, before leaving work for my appointment, I jokingly sent an e-mail to my friend/project manager Tracie suggesting that somebody attending the luncheon smuggle out a piece of cheesecake in their purse for me. Well, she did it. All old-lady style, wrapped in a napkin and everything! I was tickled that she did this for me. It was a pretty tasty slice of cheesecake, too (although, admittedly, probably a little richer than what I'm supposed to be eating right now).

One more bright spot-- while I got my infusion, I knitted a tiny pair of baby mittens for the niece or nephew I hope to be meeting in a week or so. They match a hat I knitted for the baby during my hospital stay. Now I just need to figure out how to get more knitting done with less illness-- that would be a better balance and I'd probably be less stressed, too.

P.S. Ezra liked the bandage on my arm from the IV, so we made him one with gauze and tape from the first aid kit. We wore them like twins to the library to pick up some books while Rob made us a delicious dinner (roasted chicken and potatoes!) That kid is so much fun. My family is so much fun.

UC--there's something you may not (want to) know about me

A warning for the squeamish-- this post contains descriptions of illness and bodily function. If you can't handle that, don't read it.

In September 2009, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition called ulcerative colitis (UC). If you're interested, there is plenty of credible information about UC at the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation's website (www.ccfa.org) and also on Web MD. Basically, my immune system attacks my colon for some yet-to-be-determined reason, and when I am not in remission I live with chronic, urgent, bloody diarrhea. I'm talking dashing to the bathroom 20 to 25 times a day (and in the middle of the night). In addition to needing to be close to a bathroom at all times during a flare, there's also fatigue, cramping, and some pretty uncomfortable inflammation in my colon which leaves me unable to do much physical activity.

In my case, the UC likely started after giving birth to my son in June, 2008. Apparently, this is not uncommon, as the immune system is suppressed during pregnancy to prevent rejection of the fetus, and it comes back 'on-line' again once the baby is born. I had some digestion changes, as well as some soreness and bleeding, for a while after the initial postpartum period ended, and I even saw a proctologist in November, 2008, who diagnosed an anal fissure (basically just a small tear that causes bleeding) and told me to increase fiber and that it would heal eventually. It took almost another year for my disease to progress and a doctor to finally send me to a specialist for a colonoscopy after hearing of my ongoing problems with urgent, frequent, and increasingly bloody diarrhea.

The course of my illness has had a quick progression. Since December, I have had three five-week courses of Prednisone, the only drug so far to control my flares at all. Prednisone is a powerful drug with a lot of really unpleasant side effects. Plus, as soon as that last dose of it leaves my body, my symptoms come right back. My most recent flare has progressed over the last eight weeks or so without much control as I tried my first regimen of a self-injectable medication called Humira. Previous to this, I have been on Asacol and Lialda, plus a brief stint on Canasa, all with no success. If my latest course of treatment (see next post) is not effective, I can try to take part in some clinical trials for medicines up for approval soon, or I can have my colon removed. So, that's where I am.

An unexpected staycation at Riverside Hospital

First off, a warning. In this post, I'm going to be talking about illness and bodily function. If that offends you or will make you see me in an uncomfortable way next time we meet, stop reading now. For the rest of you, suffice to say, everybody poops (but hopefully most of you won't ever have to deal with my condition).

After spiking a fever of 101 on last Thursday, July 7, I spent most of the next four days with a constant fever of 101 to 102 that wouldn't respond to Tylenol and with unrelenting symptoms from the UC. I went to work Friday and felt the chills, fatigue, and inflammation getting worse. I was also running to the bathroom at least a few times an hour with diarrhea, no matter what I'd eaten (or had not eaten). By the weekend I was totally out of commission (and, as I know now, I probably should've just called my GI doc at that point). I stayed home from work Monday feeling just as awful, contacted my GI doctor, and got in for an afternoon appointment for a flexible sigmoidoscopy (if you're curious, look it up). The results of that led my doctor to have me immediately admitted to Riverside Hospital, luckily right around the corner from his office.

The next few days were kind of a hospitalized blur. My first night there, Monday, was the worst. Because of (I think) pretty severe dehydration, it took eight tries to get an IV line in my arm. Ouch! I have a pretty nasty bruise in one arm and a bunch of other needle marks from the lab-work I had done every day of my stay. Lovely. Plus, since they had not consulted with the GI doc yet and were reluctant to make drastic changes to my medications, they basically did nothing but give me Tylenol, and I ended up with a fever of 104.6 that night while watching Anthony Bourdain visit Columbus on No Reservations. That was fun. The nurses couldn't believe I had such a high temp, and they talked about it again every time my chart was reviewed.

I spent all day Tuesday requesting to see the GI doc and asking whoever would listen if I could have something to eat, since they were only allowing me ice chips--even a sick girl with chronic diarrhea needs some nourishment, people! I was finally granted my wishes by Tuesday evening and started on IV steroids and two kinds of antibiotics (Cipro and Flagyl) to combat any possible infection that may have been causing my fever. The GI doc also decided I should stop taking Asacol (which I had recently re-started in addition to my Humira regimen), as he was concerned I might be having a negative response to it. He also instructed me to stop taking Humira and started me on Remicade, which I will continue to receive through IV infusion, normally every six weeks. I was also given clear liquids for dinner.

Tuesday morning was my last high fever, so the rest of my stay was mostly me adjusting to the meds and getting rest, plus the docs running more tests. I slowly returned to 'normal' and was cleared to leave the hospital on Thursday afternoon with doctor's orders to stay home and take it easy on Friday and for the rest of the weekend.

I owe many, many thanks to my wonderful, loving family and friends and especially to Rob, who took care of Ezra and me throughout this ordeal. My parents, Ry and Bri, Lauren and Coco, and Jeni all visited me in the hospital as well, keeping me sane. In addition, a handful of willing friends texted with me throughout the days, which helped a lot. Let's hope this was my last hospital visit for a while and that the new meds do the trick, eh?

How did you spend the Great Ohio Blackout of 2008?

We sent our frozen meat and packets of breastmilk to a friend's house for the week. We ran an extension cord from over the neighbor's fence and under our kitchen door to make coffee and listen to NPR (since part of our street had power restored several days before ours).We spent the days creating art and politically-inspired crafts. We relaxed in the dim light and talked. And we gave our son baths by the light of electric duckies.

p.s. Don't worry-- it wasn't really that dark during bathtime. The camera just didn't pick up the light very well.

wishes and reservations

I should have blogged at least a hundred times now about my wonderful baby. There are just so many words. These last couple of weeks are going to be especially tough as I prepare to go back to work and to start Ezra at daycare.



Part of the reason I haven't written, since I learned I was pregnant, in fact, is because all these feelings are so new and so private. At the same time, though, I am experiencing what countless other women have already been through. What can I say that has not already been said? Kids are great. They change your life forever. You never knew you could be so in love, even if you are head-over-heels for your mate. Every moment is amazing, even when it is really hard or scary or frustrating.

One really unexpected thing I've experienced is this very freeing feeling that has to do with judgment. Being a mom is opening my eyes to all the many difficult decisions every parent has to make. Sure, I still have my opinions about how I hope to parent my son, and I will probably even find myself judging other parents still, but now I am at least becoming aware of how harmful those judgments can be, how unproductive and negative they are. Most parents are at least trying to do the best they can. Usually that's all we can do. Now that I'm the one who will be learning by trial and error, questioning myself and feeling like I'm being questioned by everyone else (How long are you planning to breastfeed? You're paying how much for daycare? You're going back to work?) I feel I have let go of some of the judgments I have made in the past about parents. There's just already so much guilt associated with motherhood, I'm going to try not to add to it with my own negative thoughts and comments.

In order to be able to stay home with Ezra for the full twelve weeks of maternity leave I was granted, we have had to really watch our spending. We didn't do a very good job of planning ahead for this, so this next few weeks is going to be tight. I'm not usually a Big Spender-- I don't buy expensive, name-brand clothes or spend a ton of money on entertainment. Still, when the money gets tight I always go back to one of my all-time favorite places-- the library. I love that our city's library system is so big and has such a great collection. At any given time I have at least five books or other items on reserve. It's great! Today I simultaneously added books to my library 'Reserves' list and to my Amazon Wishlist. That way, I can check out the books and see if I like them, and if I still want them I can buy them online someday.

wish list

Amy says it's time for a new post.

I've had a real itch lately to expand my crafting foundations to include sewing. I crochet off and on, and I sort of knit. I have also experimented with beading/jewelry (years ago) and making stuff from felt. Sewing is the one needlecraft I've always sort of stayed away from. I guess it's partly because, um, I don't have a sewing machine. But my mom has a great one and I actually know how to use it. I did some patchwork crafts as a young teenager, but the only thing I've made from a real pattern was a giant pair of red and white polka dot boxer shorts in 8th grade Home Ec. It's time to get to work.

I bought these:



The projects in these two books are pretty basic and kind of similar, but I think they'll give me some good practice in the foundations. If you get a lopsided kitchen apron or a too-small tote bag from me for X-mas, just try to keep in mind that I worked hard on it and it's been a learning experience. You can always throw it away when I'm not looking...

PS-- In my 'dream house' I would have a dedicated room for all my crafty messes. Kind of like my very talented artist husband has his studio (albeit, a small one). Virginia Woolf was right. For now, I just have baskets, bags, totes, and boxes strewn about our living room and guest room/office/someday baby's room. They overflow with yarn and books about knitting and crochet, with hooks and needles poking out here and there. Oh, my dream house would also have a professional organizer to come in and make it all pretty and accessible. Yes.

My mama's peach ginger ice cream topping

3-4 ripe peaches, diced
1/2 inch piece of ginger, thinly sliced (or leave it whole and take it out before serving)
2 Tbsp. sugar
1/2 C. dry sherry

Put all ingredients in a small saucepan and cook until sugar is dissolved and mixture is thickened. Serve over vanilla ice cream. Savor the last few days of summer.

My version of the Northstar Chicken Basil Burrito

So, I had some chopped, poached chicken in my fridge and was craving something with basil. Here goes:

1 C. cooked brown rice, warm
about 1 C. chopped, cooked chicken, warmed
4-6 med. tortillas
12-16 fresh basil leaves
Spicy Peanut Sauce:
1/4 C. creamy peanut butter
2 Tbsp. shiracha hot chili sauce *optional
2 Tbsp. rice wine vinegar
2 Tbsp. soy sauce
1 clove garlic
1 Tbsp. mango chutney or apricot preserves
Blend sauce in blender. It will be thick. If you want it thinner, add a little water and/or soy to taste. Pour half the peanut sauce over the chicken. Use the rest for dipping.

On each tortilla, lay down a large spoonful of rice, a scoop of saucy chicken, and some basil leaves. Make into scrumptious burritos. Eat and enjoy. I'd bet you could substitute the chicken with tofu and it would still be yummy.

p.s.-- all measurements are approximate.

The Wheels on the Bus...

So, the school year is upon us. My husband is just days away from starting his very first year as an art teacher. Yaay! I'm not working in a school any more, so this will actually be the first time I don't have to change my schedule for the school year in, I think, six years. Wow.

Still, I have a certain amount of excitement and nostalgia for the renewed promise of a new school year. I can seen the small changes happening in my neighborhood as people prepare for the first few days back. During my high school years, especially, those last few weeks before school started were filled not only with late night adventures and last glimpses of summertime, but also with band camps (yes, I know, I went to band camp), sports practice, and a chance to regroup with old friends and make new friends. I sometimes wish we could all escape from the drudgery of everyday work/life for a couple months in the summer. It would keep things fresh.

I think it's only fitting that I include the following snippets, which, in a roundabout way, say something about the Back-to-School frenzy. These are short videos taken at the Columbus Motor Speedway , filmed (poorly) by me last Saturday, August 18, 2007. I try to go to the races at least once a year with my dad. On this particular night, the feature race (in addition to what can be generally described as a less-sophisticated,Nascar-style racing) was Figure 8 School Bus Racing. Yes, school buses racing around a figure-eight track. My brother and I can be heard cracking up on the film. It's much more entertaining in person, but you'll get the general idea:

Fairly

Have I mentioned before that I really like the Ohio State Fair? I like it a lot. Well, at least, I like it enough to take a day off work to go, spend most of a day there, eat the caloric equivalent of three squares there (give or take a fried Oreo and a couple Tom Thumb donuts), tell everyone I see for a week afterward how great it was, and then blog about it. I think that's a lot.

If you haven't been to the Ohio State Fair before, here's a (buttery) taste of what you're missing:



View from the skyride. Note the parade marching past below.




One of those spinny rides I don't ride.

I would, however, buy teacups like those for my kitchen, if they came in non-giant sizes.

I owe thanks to Steph for inviting me to tag along with her group for the day at the Fair. She and I have sort of an informal tradition of attending the Fair together every year. I think it started when she was in Ohio State Fair Youth Choir and I visited her there.

About that time, I realized the Fair was much, much more than just carnival rides, cheesy demonstrations of overpriced and unnecessary kitchen gadgets, fried foods, and livestock. I mean, it is all of those things, but it's much, much more. It is hyperbole. It is summer. It is life in the Midwest. It is Uncle Sam on stilts, his legs parted like an arch while an old woman in an electric wheelchair motors under his tall legs and then pumps her fist in the air, triumphantly giving a 'thumbs up.' I swear.

And, it is this:

lucha libre

My husband has been spending a lot of time here lately. I'm actually pretty interested in all the costumes and masks, too. Plus, there's a certain fairy-tale quality to each wrestler's persona. A luchador makes a name for himself by his character's back-story and mystique as much as by his ass-kicking moves.
As a small tribute, we turned this:
into this:




Obviously, that's the back side. We painted the whole thing magenta, though. We are still thinking about whether to write something above the doorway on the front. If our dogs were Mexican Wrestlers, what would their names be?

One year down...

BCBD5123.JPG
Originally uploaded by Pink, My Dear

We made it through our first year of marriage! It has been a very solid year, I think. We've grown closer in subtle ways. We're learning how to communicate about the big stuff and also the little and the mundane everyday stuff. I've gone through a whole range of emotions, from elation, to loneliness, to minor boredom, to total bliss.

Coming down off the high of our wedding day (and all the momentum leading up to it) was hard for a while. I swear people started treating me differently as soon as that ring was on my finger. The phone stopped ringing. E-mails stopped coming. I'm guessing many friends and even some family just felt like we'd want some privacy and alone time as newlyweds. Unfortunately, our schedules didn't mesh very well, so that just translated into a lot of isolation and sadness for me. I didn't really feel like I could share this because a) it would make me look like an ungrateful new bride doomed to ruin her marriage and b) no one really wanted to hear it. Either their own problems far outweighed my meager complaints, or they just couldn't understand where I was coming from. I probably should've blogged then, huh? The winter months were especially rough. Changing jobs helped me and getting closer toward his teaching career helped R. These last few months have been smooth sailing.

We celebrated with a weekend away at Lake Hope. Aptly named. More about Camp Slant, the heart-carved tree, the furnace, and wedding cake later. For now, it's time to get to work. I'm gonna ride out this wave of joy until the next one picks me up again.

in bloom

Things are coming along nicely in the garden. The zinnias(left) are blooming. I've always liked these simple flowers because they are so colorful and happy. Plus, they're pretty hardy and easy to grow.

I also have a few shasta daisies, finally. These perennials are part of the 'sacred' garden where a few Catholic devotional statues are weathering away. They're a tribute to my grandma, Annie.







Here's another kind of blossom:










These are squash or zucchini blooms, growing in our compost pile. Normal people turn their compost pile regularly (with a pitchfork or something), to prevent seeds from germinating and provide aeration to the pile. This also encourages a more steady breakdown of the material and produces compost more quickly. Now that these giant plants are taking over our compost pile, we feel kind of badly about killing them. I'm not sure I plan to eat anything that actually grows in there, but, hey, maybe I'll change my mind.

Green Thumb

This year, we planted eggplant in our garden for the first time. We don't even cook eggplant much, but I wanted to see what it would be like to grow it.

We had great success with tomatoes, peppers, lettuces, and herbs last year. Things are looking good for those plants again this summer.

Our zucchini did well for one harvest and then the plants suddenly died around mid-August. Our cucumbers (which we've replaced this year with muskmelon) did okay, but, except for one or two, they never really grew big enough to eat.

We also planted asparagus, which is now in its second season. It will take a couple more years before we can harvest it. If we tried now, we'd have one teeny tiny piece, about the size and diameter of, hmm, the stylus from a Palm Pilot. So, yeah, not big.

Our herbs are by far the most successful (probably because they're ridiculously easy to grow, very hardy, and they multiply quickly). We have several varieties of basil, including a wonderful, citrus-y lime basil and a sweeter, anise-scented Thai Magic basil. Also, we have a giant bush of sage, lemon thyme, curly and also flat-leave parsley, rosemary, oregano, cilantro (now it's turning to coriander), chives, fennel, and dill. We could season pretty much anything! The trick will be to use all of these delicious herbs before they go to seed and also to learn how to properly freeze and/or dry them for use during the winter months.

Jones Soda and Mentos Experiment

I knew it all along.

I didn't realize being married could be so lonely.

Indie Craft Fair III this Saturday!

If you are in the Columbus area, come by and check out this awesome, one-day event. Support local artists and artisans and buy yourself something nice! I'll be the short one flanked by three big dudes.

bummer

I have been trying to sign up online for a subscription to Budget Living magazine for about a month now. Every time I visit their website it has some content, but the subscription links don't seem to work. My interest started a few months ago when I found two books I just LOVE published by folks at B.L.-- Party Central and Home Cheap Home.

I already subscribe to BUST and Everyday Food (love their show on PBS regardless of the Martha Stewart connection). Oh, and thanks to lovelyColleen I also have a subscription to ReadyMade. I was hoping Budget Living would serve as my home decorating & thrifty entertaining magazine, since the others only touch on those subjects.

I did a little Googling (I'm sure that is a verb now, isn't it?) and learned that the magazine has gone under, only last month. I would like to cross my fingers and hope that another publication like Real Simple or Domino or Lucky might pick up some of the slack, but it seems (without having read a single issue) that BL had a niche of its own.

At least I still have my books, right? Theme parties, every month!

which do you want to hear first?

Bad news: I think I'm sick.

Good news: I enjoy the taste of the green NyQuil. Mmm, licorice.